There are about a dozen Mission boys and girls on the waitlist with Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Fraser Valley. Mentoring Coordinator Cassie Silva says that volunteering doesn’t just benefit the children who are waiting for a mentor, it can increase self-confidence, provide a sense of purpose, and increase physical and emotional health.
“Being a Big Brother or Big Sister can also provide you the opportunity to get in touch with your inner child by playing at a playground, doing a science experiment, making crafts, or having someone to go see Disney movies with,” Silva said.
Mission resident Matt Goulais wants to share with his community why he made the decision to begin volunteering four months ago with the organization.
“When I was nine, my mom and dad separated, and I remember the night like it was yesterday. My mom had me take my four younger siblings to the neighbour’s house ... An hour or so later, my mom came over, in tears, and asked me to take them home while she stayed and talked to the neighbour’s mom. Again, I did so without question.
“I got home and noticed my dad wasn’t home, but didn’t think anything of it, yet. I got my siblings to bed, and when my mom finally came home, I asked her what was going on. I don’t remember her words, only my emotional response – anger.
“I was mad that she let my dad leave. I blamed her for making him leave. I didn’t know the whole story then, and it didn’t matter.
“I was 11 or 12 when she signed my brother and I up for Big Brothers, saying it would be a little like seeing Dad on the weekends, but with someone else who was just there to hang out, listen, and for us to talk to – what we today refer to as a ‘safe place.’
“I saw this as an opportunity, not to be a kid again, but to take a break from trying to be the man of the house. My brother Anthony and I met our Bigs, went out for lunch – separately, of course – and came home to tell to each other about it. His Big was – and I’ll quote him as best as I can – ‘a young dude with an awesome fast car, and the top comes down! He showed me his car collection and how to work on them. We’re going to go for a lot of drives and do awesome things.’
“I was immediately jealous. My Big was not a young dude. And he didn’t drive an awesome fast car. He had a mini van. Little did I know that six years later so would I, but not the point here. No, my Big didn’t sound as cool as my brother’s, and I felt like I got the crap end of the stick. When we went out, I didn’t care already. Out of the gate, I went into the relationship with a negative reaction to my Big, and that wasn’t fair to him.”
Over time, he connected to his mentor and they had a lot of fun together, but it took time for him to open up.
When he was 24, Goulais moved from Ontario to Abbotsford, and shortly after that, to Mission. He spent eight years considering giving back as a Big Brother but always found an excuse not to, until this past summer when he saw a Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Fraser Valley “Waiting Wednesday” post about a Mission boy who quit baseball because other boys had father figures cheering them on and he did not.
“I cried. It hit home with me, really hard. Now was the time, no more excuses,” Goulais said.
He didn’t think he would be a good mentor to a boy who was into sports, and instead chose a boy with similar interests – video games, and the Dungeons & Dragons game.
“We met and talked a little, and in many ways I was talking to a younger me. We took an adventurous walk through Centennial Park. We’ve been matched only four or so months now, but it feels like years already.”
Goulais recently reconnected with his former Big Brother Peter Quick who had this advice to give him: “Mentoring always begins slowly. It takes time for the little brother to learn to trust and accept the Big and this is what happened to us.”
For more information on mentoring programs, visit mentoringworks.ca, call 604-820-3337 or email cassie.silva@bigbrothersbigsisters.ca.